Unworthy
by Erubadhriel Caramiriel
Summary: Why?" The question was eating at Arthur. He couldn't understand what made a servant boy throw away his life for someone who had bullied and ridiculed him the way Arthur had.


**Unworthy**

Arthur watched in horror as his servant boy raised the silver goblet to his lips and downed the wine in one large gulp. Though everyone had objected to the servant boy's suspicions, Arthur knew that by the determined look in his servant's eyes that the goblet was indeed poisoned.

The boy set aside the goblet with a shaking hand. "It's fine." He said. A sigh of relief went up from the crowd in the hall.

Arthur was about to call his servant an idiot, but Merlin's face suddenly twisted with agony and he choked. His eyes rolled back into his head and he collapsed to the ground, the goblet rolling on the floor. Poisoned. The goblet had been poisoned. So Merlin had been right after all. Arthur's stomach turned at the thought of what might have happened if he had been so foolish as to drink out of the goblet himself, instead of listening to Merlin. He envisioned himself lying on the floor, dead. But he wasn't on the floor. Merlin was. And Merlin was dead.

His mind went back to the day that he had met Merlin, the country boy who dared challenge the son of the King, Prince Arthur. The brave idiot. Poor Merlin had taken several beatings from Arthur, not to mention all the ridicules. Arthur was now sorry that he had treated Merlin the way he had, like a "dispensable servant boy" as his Father called him. But Arthur knew that Merlin was not dispensable. He knew that never again would he find someone as loyal and honest as that idiot of a servant boy.

"Let me take some men into the forest." Arthur pleaded with his father. With a few men, retrieving a small flower from a cave would be simple and surely Merlin's life was worth the risk. But King Uther saw things differently. "You're the crowned prince of Camelot, Arthur! You cannot go throwing away your life! For the sake of the people, I order you to remain here."

So that was it. Arthur had tried his best, but his best wouldn't be enough to save Merlin. Within a couple days, Merlin would be dead.

Arthur sat in his room alone, his mind uneasy. He could still see the look on Merlin's face, just before he had taken that fatal sip from the goblet. That idiot of a servant boy had been so sure of the consequence of death that would follow his action, and yet still so determined to save Arthur's life.

_Why? _The question was eating at Arthur. He couldn't understand what made a servant boy throw away his life for someone who had bullied and ridiculed him the way Arthur had. Guilt overwhelmed Arthur. It gnawed away at his stomach like a plague of locusts. He couldn't help but feel that he wasn't worth the price Merlin had paid. But there was nothing he could do about it.

"What do you mean you don't have a choice? Of course you have a choice!" Morgana said, glaring at him in disgust. She had always despised him and now Arthur knew why. He despised himself for the same reason.

"My father has forbidden me to go!" He didn't know why he was arguing. "Camelot needs a king, Morgana, not a dead prince."

"And what kind of a king do you think Camelot wants?" Her words cut to the core of Arthur's selfish pride, exposing every ounce of his arrogance and ignorance. And there was no use trying to hide from it any longer.

Since birth, Arthur had been trained to kill. He had been trained to ride, hunt, fight, and joust. Never before in his life had a task been set before which he was unable to fulfill. Defeat was dishonorable and unacceptable. Yet now he suffered defeat at the hands of a simple servant boy.

In all those years of training, Arthur had never learned the meaning of the word sacrifice. The concept of giving something for the sake of someone else was totally contrary and foreign to his pampered princely life.

_Why did you have to be such an idiot, Merlin? _Arthur groaned inwardly. He almost wished that he had drunk the wine. Merlin didn't deserve to die. He did.

It was the middle of the night and Arthur had nothing with him save his sword. The journey would be dangerous, yes. But whether he lived or died no longer mattered. Merlin had taught him a lesson when he drank from his goblet and took the place of what should have been Arthur's death. Merlin had done the most honorable and loyal thing a servant could possibly do for a master. And to throw away Merlin's life as if he was a dispensable servant boy would be dishonorable beyond measure.

Arthur rode from the castle, knowing that he was unworthy of Merlin's sacrifice.

But what he didn't know was that the same Arthur would never return to the castle again.


End file.
